Of the over 40 million Americans who care for elderly loved ones every year, a vast majority do so by choice. And although serving as an unpaid caregiver is a labor of love, negative feelings like anger and resentment are possible. Allowed to fester, those pent-up emotions can affect the quality of life for both parties.  Thankfully, overcoming feelings of anger and resentment is possible by taking these steps. 

Sources of Caregiver Resentment 

Most informal caregivers will experience resentment at some point during their caregiving journey. Resentment is a natural human emotion that may be triggered by:

  • Not spending enough time with one’s spouse, partner or children
  • Shouldering most of the caregiving burden alone
  • Missing work because of caregiving duties
  • Feeling tired and run down
  • Financial difficulties resulting from out-of-pocket expenses
  • Not getting enough sleep
  • Feeling trapped
  • Feeling underappreciated or unappreciated

Along with other negative emotions like shame, guilt and frustration, resentment can make  caregiver fatigue even worse.

Resentment Management Tips for Caregivers 

Both you and your care recipient will enjoy a higher quality of life when you use these resentment management tips:

Recognize that your feelings are normal

If you’re feeling trapped right now because your loved one depends on you for their physical and emotional needs, that’s only normal. Planning for what lies ahead, including the caregiving challenges, can be overwhelming.

As your loved one’s illness progresses, the nature of your relationship will change- for example, a daughter caring for a mother with Alzheimer’s or cancer. It’s only natural for feelings like anxiety, hopelessness and resentment to surface as relationship roles are suddenly reversed.

Remember why you became a caregiver 

Caregivers take on the role for various reasons, including love, feeling obligated or simply because “it’s the right thing to do”. In cases where the caregiver feels pressured to take on these new responsibilities, they oftentimes feel frustrated or resentful.

Not getting much support from other family members can also fuel feelings of resentment. No matter your motivation, when you’re having a bad day focus on why you became a caregiver in the first place.

Celebrate small victories along the way

No matter how hard you try your loved one’s condition is going to get worse. Come to terms with that fact and celebrate small victories along the way. For example, if you were able to get dad to eat all the food on his plate for a whole week, pamper yourself with a spa day or movie night with your spouse.

Take time to care for yourself 

One of the biggest mistakes that informal caregivers make is not taking care of themselves. Learn how to identify the signs of caregiver stress and find healthy ways to avoid it.

Here’s how to keep yourself recharged and refreshed:

  • Exercise regularly
  • Eat a healthy, nutrient-rich diet
  • Stay home when you’re feeling sick
  • Get an annual physical
  • Spend quality time with friends and family
  • Find a new hobby or activity that you enjoy
  • Don’t abuse alcohol or drugs
  • Sleep 7 to 8 hours per day

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

Being a caregiver is too big a job to tackle by yourself. Set aside your pride and reach out to others for help. Some of the possible sources of caregiving assistance in your community may include:

  • Meal delivery services
  • Community volunteers that work with the aging
  • Senior transportation services
  • Trusted friends, neighbors and family members
  • Licensed home care agency 

If you’re not sure where to start consult the  the national Eldercare Locator.

Reliable Caregiver Relief is Only a Phone Call Away  

Although caring for an aging in place loved one is a labor of love, it can also be tiring and stressful. When you need a break contact Seniors Prefer Homecare. As a fully licensed home care agency our “cream of the crop” services include companionship care, personal care, household duties, respite care, dementia care and even live-in and 24-hour care. Our mission is providing the care you want- when and where you need it- while lifting the spirits of those we serve.

Our compassionate caregivers use a proven approach that’s designed to maintain your loved one’s quality of life, along with their dignity, independence and self-esteem. To learn more about Seniors Prefer Homecare now, or to schedule a FREE consultation for a senior in Tuscaloosa or Huntsville, AL, today, please visit us at: www.seniorspreferhomecare.com!